It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
