So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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