he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
