PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
