yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
