it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
