Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
