God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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