Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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