My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
