He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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