It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm like, not good at living.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
