just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You may now shotgun with the bride
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
