it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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