my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
