I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
