i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I can tuck mytits in my pants
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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