They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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