i barfeds in our rink
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
