Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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