just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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