I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
