and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
