So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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