the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
