so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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