Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
