She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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