I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I am naked and annoyed.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
