youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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