Please, let me fuck your mom
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
