just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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