Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
