so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
