I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I need a beard to bite.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
