Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
