I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Randomize
