Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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