You're my little dorito
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
