gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
This is my gift to your gina
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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