So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
