I'd wear matching sweaters with you
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
