Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
