We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
