why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
