You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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