The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
