I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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