at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
