If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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