I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
