before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
